ANATOLII'S STORY: An Unexpected Journey to a Garden on a Hill (No Dragons Were Harmed)

Before this journey, I had spent years relying almost entirely on rationality.

Life had brought a series of difficult experiences: COVID, divorce, the full-scale invasion of my home country, the loss of a close friend, and several health concerns. My rational mind helped me survive and keep moving forward, but over time I became aware that something was missing. I could analyze my feelings, but I struggled to fully experience them.

I had also tried regular therapy, but it often felt too protocol-driven for what I needed at that stage of my life.

What I appreciated most about working with Jakobien was the absence of pressure. There was never a promise that medicine would "solve everything." Instead, we had open and honest conversations about my situation, my expectations, and my concerns. She shared perspectives, educational materials, documentaries, and experiences from others, allowing me to make my own informed decision. At every step, I felt respected rather than persuaded.

The preparation process was thorough, thoughtful, and professional. It helped me build trust, understand what to expect, and enter the experience feeling safe and supported.

The journey itself was profound, and Jakobien's presence played a crucial role throughout it. During the journey, she was there talking with me, helping me explore what was coming up. She often reflected back and highlighted things I was saying, allowing me to see them from a different perspective. What stood out most was not only her guidance but also her calm presence. I never felt alone during the process.

I remember our conversations throughout the journey and how she helped me navigate what I was experiencing rather than directing it. She created space for me to explore my own thoughts, emotions, and images while knowing that someone experienced was there to support me if needed. That balance between guidance and freedom was incredibly valuable.

One of the strongest impressions from the experience was a deep feeling of appreciation toward myself - something I had not felt for a very long time. I saw how much energy I had spent trying to adapt, compromise, and keep moving despite being exhausted. I realized that parts of myself had been silenced for years in order to continue functioning.

I experienced an inner landscape that became a personal symbol of safety and balance: a garden, a home, and different parts of myself gathering together. Even the parts I normally judged or tried to avoid were welcomed. Rather than feeling broken or needing to be fixed, I felt whole.

The integration sessions afterward were equally important. Jakobien helped me reflect on the experience, understand what had emerged, and find practical ways to integrate these insights into daily life. The support did not end when the journey ended, and I found that continuity incredibly valuable.

Since then, I have noticed many subtle but meaningful changes:

• I pay more attention to details in everyday life.

• I gained a mental safe place that I can return to when needed.

• I was not transformed into a different person; instead, I gained a new perspective on myself and my experiences.

• I became more aware of parts of myself that had been ignored or suppressed.

• I feel more connected to my emotions and to my body.

• Food, music, nature, and everyday experiences feel richer and more nuanced.

• I notice more hope, warmth, and appreciation in life.

• Most importantly, I learned the value of gratitude toward myself. Like the instruction given on an airplane, you must secure your own oxygen mask before helping others.

This experience did not erase life's difficulties. What it gave me was a different relationship with myself - one based on greater awareness, appreciation, and compassion.

I am deeply grateful to Jakobien for her professionalism, care, presence, and guidance throughout this process. What made the difference for me was not only the journey itself, but having someone I trusted walking alongside me through it.